A Personal Challenge

Years back, I embarked on a 30-day juice fast—consuming nothing but fruit and vegetable juices, alongside plenty of water. During this period, I also eliminated alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine from my life. In my view, this was a beneficial reset for my mind, if not my body. While it may not be a sustainable weight loss strategy, I did manage to shed 30 pounds and quit smoking for good.

During this challenge, my brother offered to be my accountability coach. Initially, I didn’t understand what he meant. He’s an Athletic Director and a men's soccer coach, so this notion of accountability is routine in his world. I thought to myself, “How can you help? I’ll either succeed or I won’t, and I don’t typically take orders from anyone.”

The truth was, I was already seeking accountability from my social media followers. Back then, I was quite active on Facebook, where I garnered a lot of engagement. My posts often sparked discussions, even if they had little to do with me personally.

The Journey of Expression

I frequently documented my experience of deprivation, sharing openly about my journey. I’ve never been one to hide my feelings; I write from the heart. If I had faltered, I would have admitted it. Failure isn't as daunting as people often perceive; it’s the fear of failure that tends to paralyze individuals.

Most of my audience was supportive, though some chose to mute my updates for their sanity. For me, it was about survival, just trying to get through each day. I repeated the fast twice more. It was effective, but without lasting lifestyle changes, the weight would return. Many would tell me, “I could never do that,” which always struck me as absurd. Of course, you could.

The Writer Within

Since childhood, I’ve been captivated by writing and storytelling. I penned my first book in third grade—though it was lacking in plot and character depth, it featured a bee named Bob. Throughout my youth, I focused more on art than writing, but my love for reading persisted.

In school, I excelled at writing, easily scoring well on critical papers. However, it felt more like a learned skill rather than a true passion. In college, I studied journalism, briefly considering photojournalism before shifting my focus to advertising.

Eventually, I found myself immersed in design and art direction, yet I always wrote my own copy. For over three decades, I’ve transformed products into compelling narratives. While I’ve enjoyed success, a part of me has long felt a void for not pursuing writing full-time. I often fantasized about being a struggling writer instead of chasing financial gain.

Awakening to Reality

As the new millennium approached, I began writing with more intention, creating various blogs before losing interest. Social media emerged, offering instant gratification for unique content. I wrote for regional magazines while juggling a family and career.

My focus shifted to personal essays about my childhood adventures, but they garnered little attention. So, I began publishing my thoughts on social media, using my day job to support my writing endeavors. Political events in 2008 stirred my interest, yet I still didn’t engage deeply with politics until 2016, when I was alarmed by the election of an unqualified candidate.

Taking Action

That year, I resolved to get involved. I volunteered for local political campaigns and joined the Democratic Party. I even launched The Standard, an online publication aimed at countering local conservative narratives. Despite challenges, I clung to this project, unable to let it go.

About a year ago, I left Facebook for mental health reasons. Seeking a social outlet, I turned to Twitter, where I followed journalists and celebrities. My posts often went unnoticed, but I began sharing my essays on Medium, which led to some modest traffic.

In an unexpected twist, I quit drinking just before the pandemic. Suddenly, I had an abundance of time to think and write. I discovered a newfound energy and clarity, often waking early to write thousands of words before work. Inspired by authors like David Sedaris, I shifted my focus from publication to honing my craft.

The Crossroads

I have long criticized the self-publishing landscape, believing many books go unpublished for a reason. Yet, I have engaged in self-publishing for years, growing impatient with traditional routes. Now, I’m working on being more patient and understanding the importance of persistence.

I feel ready to pursue writing more seriously, aspiring to create content for a broader audience. While I’m not ready to quit my job, I’m eager to explore opportunities in magazines and newspapers, perhaps even books.

Embracing Vulnerability

It’s said that revealing wishes can lead to their non-fulfillment. However, I believe that as a creator, fear cannot dictate your actions. Success requires courage, persistence, and a bit of luck. I've been practicing my craft for decades, confident in my ability to connect with audiences.

Now, I must convince those who gatekeep that I have something valuable to offer. And perhaps it’s time to reconsider my relationship with alcohol once more.