I was once known as "the brilliant child."

• Reading at age 4
• Playing chess by 3
• Doing simple math at 4
• Memorizing historical facts from various books

I was that nerdy kid with remarkable talents.

Reading as a Distraction

During hospital visits, my mother and I were always immersed in books. She aimed to redirect my focus from discomfort to reading.

It was incredibly effective! My imagination became my refuge.

Our reading material included:

• Fiction
• Fairytales
• Encyclopedias
• Historical texts—my fascination with the Romans, Greeks, and Egyptians was boundless.

I absorbed information like a sponge.

My Identity as a "Genius"

By age 5, I could name all the countries, their capitals, and flags (not anymore, though!). However, this label became detrimental.

I was aware of my genius, so I felt no need to exert effort.

Throughout primary school, I never had to study and still maintained straight A’s.

The curriculum merely filled in gaps in my pre-existing knowledge.

The Shift in Our Reading Habit

Eventually, my mother found employment, I picked up new hobbies, and my inflated ego led me to believe I had mastered learning.

This mindset became a significant issue.

I convinced myself that I had acquired all the knowledge I needed, which ultimately led to my downfall.

> "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know." > — Albert Einstein

The Same Pattern in Chess

Surrounded by compliments, I believed I was unbeatable.

• Defeating my parents
• Dominating my school even as the youngest player
• Winning regional competitions

I even qualified for the national championship.

Expectations at the Slovenian Youth Chess Championship

My coach assumed victory would come easily for me. Everyone praised my talent and skill.

My confidence soared.

I expected not just to win nationals but also European and world titles.

When I entered the tournament hall, I felt as if I had already secured a trophy.

• Confidence high
• Playing hastily
• Believing others were inferior

I grossly underestimated my opponents, convinced of my unmatched abilities.

What Happened Next?

• I lost nearly every match except one.
• I finished in last place.

My self-esteem shattered.

The Harsh Reality of Praise Addiction

At age 9, I:

• Lost faith in myself
• Stopped reading
• Became addicted to validation
• Craved approval for every action

I perceived myself as a failure.

My coach and parents criticized my overconfidence, and I felt overwhelming guilt.

I wanted to give up but feared doing so.

That moment of defeat turned me from a warrior into a failure, fueled by an inflated ego and unrealistic expectations.

Finding a Way Forward

Ultimately, it wasn't solely my fault:

• I was only 9
• Those I admired had high hopes for me
• Their praise had negative consequences

However, I wouldn't hold them accountable; instead, I recognized the need for change.

The Impact of This Experience on My Life

I developed beliefs such as:

• "I understand history and science, so I don't need to study them."
• "I won't attempt anything unfamiliar to evade failure."
• "It’s safer to stick to history—why not compete there?"
• "Math is my strength; I’m heading to physics college!"
• "Trying new activities? Too risky."
• "I need to guard my identity as a genius! Avoiding failure is paramount."
• "Making friends with smarter peers? No way! I need to remain the top intellect in my circle."

This was all due to my excessive attachment to being perceived as a "wunderkind."

A Candid Reflection

I still occasionally face challenges with self-assurance and the need for validation, albeit to a lesser extent.

I now realize:

• I don’t need to prove anything to anyone
• Pursuing my purpose is my primary objective
• My choices should remain untainted by others' opinions

Yet, I still need to remind myself of this when faced with difficulties.

Despite my parents' disapproval of my aspirations, those dreams belong to me.

I alone must nurture them!

> "Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life." > — Steve Jobs

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