Meet the Pilot

If there’s one action you can take to reduce flight anxiety, it’s this: meet the pilot. Bunn stresses this throughout his program.

I will never board a flight again without trying to meet the captain first. It instantly reassures you of the pilot's skill and confidence. Knowing the captain is in command helps alleviate feelings of isolation during the flight. When turbulence strikes or unusual sounds occur, you can envision the pilot calmly managing the situation from the cockpit, as they have experienced it countless times before.

Meeting the pilot diminishes the power of your imagination. In 99.9% of cases, pilots are professional and friendly, exuding a sense of calm. This interaction gives your mind a mental image of a capable individual piloting you safely to your destination.

To arrange this, you will need a letter from your doctor or therapist, which can be formatted as follows:

Dear Passenger Service Agent,

This letter introduces [name], who is working with me to overcome their fear of flying.

According to Tom Bunn, a leading expert on aerophobia, meeting the captain is crucial for managing in-flight anxiety.

To facilitate this, please allow [name] to board ahead of the other passengers, or ensure they are the first group to board.

I am a [credentials], and this measure has proven effective for my patients dealing with flying anxiety.

You may also want to draft a similar letter for the pilot. The introductory letter should suffice, and ensure both letters are printed on official letterhead.

Nothing is more effective than meeting the pilot. This interaction helps regulate stress hormones and reminds your brain that a qualified professional is at the controls.

Understand Aviation and Aircraft Mechanics

Emotions often arise from intuitive reasoning and images processed by the right hemisphere of the brain. When gazing out of an airplane window, this side of the brain conjures cinematic visuals that can cause panic before logical thought can stabilize your mind.

We might imagine the aircraft plummeting to the ground, despite the fact that planes almost never fall from the sky.

Even when logic fails during turbulence, here are some reassuring facts to calm your mind:

• In the absence of power, commercial aircraft can glide for up to 90 miles.
• Air travel is statistically the safest mode of transportation (your odds of dying in a plane crash are about 1 in 11 million).
• Safety in aviation has improved consistently over time, as each incident leads to changes being made—unlike with cars.
• Most commercial aircraft are equipped with two engines, ensuring at least one remains operational if one fails.
• There are backup and emergency systems for nearly every function.
• Airplane wings are designed to flex, with a Boeing 787 Dreamliner wingspan capable of bending up to 25 feet.
• Approximately 100,000 commercial flights operate successfully each day, as you can see on Plane Finder.

Turbulence is rarely hazardous; only two fatalities related to turbulence have occurred since 2009. The most recent was due to a heart attack, and the earlier one involved a passenger on a United Airlines flight in 1997. That's merely three deaths in 25 years.

Meanwhile, automotive accidents and fatalities are alarmingly high. Yet, anxious flyers often feel more secure behind the wheel, despite the fact that driving is significantly more perilous. In the U.S., over five million car accidents occur yearly, leading to around 43,000 fatalities.

While I could continue listing these facts, your emotional brain might still trigger a fight-or-flight response, even when you know you are safe.

Harness the Support of a Good Friend

Recent studies by Salk Institute and MIT indicate that recalling a supportive friend can effectively reduce stress. This technique targets the brain’s amygdala, which releases stress hormones due to past experiences. Trauma can cause it to misidentify harmless situations as real dangers.

The human mind often runs on autopilot.

You can reframe these experiences using mental exercises, tying them to positive memories. This method can help alleviate anxiety in situations like flying, as supported by advanced neuro-psychological studies.

Here’s a simplified approach:

• Recall a moment when you felt cherished or valued by a close friend.
• Overlay an image of an airplane within that memory.
• Replay this memory multiple times, including scenes of taxiing, taking off, cruising, and landing.

This practice connects joyful memories with the flying experience, transforming panic into happiness.

Tom Bunn has a video explaining this exercise. Practice it a few times before your next flight, as it's crucial to engage in the process without additional mental obstacles.

Avoid Compounding Your Anxiety

While moderate alcohol consumption may offer some relief, it can backfire during prolonged turbulence. Since I quit drinking years ago, I’ve lost that unreliable coping mechanism.

Caffeine should be avoided as it heightens alertness in the central nervous system. It boosts cortisol and adrenaline levels, which may worsen anxiety. Even if your flight is at dawn, resist the urge for caffeine. You might even find it possible to sleep on the plane, a feat I once thought impossible.

Lastly, don’t allow nerves to dictate your physical reactions. During turbulence, we often brace ourselves against the seat, which can create a sense of instability. Instead, release your grip from the armrests and focus on the weight of your body. This will help you feel more grounded.

Plan Your In-Flight Activities

My friend Raimee, a travel enthusiast with over 500K social media followers, has dealt with her fear of flying for years. Before every flight, she spends hours watching planes take off and land at LAX, making flying seem less daunting.

Raimee carefully organizes her activities during the flight, including uplifting movies, work tasks, and planning her trip. She advises against tracking flight progress, as it can lead to obsessive thoughts about how long until landing.

During her flights, Raimee visualizes her upcoming vacation. You can find more of her favorite tips in this TikTok video.

Another friend swears by playing Tetris. “You can’t focus on anything else when you’re playing,” he says. I can’t attest to the effectiveness of this method, but it’s worth trying.

Breathing and Somatic Practices

Breathwork and somatic exercises can help soothe the nervous system while flying. Techniques such as 4:7:8 breathing, box breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, and Wim-Hof breathing are all beneficial.

Here are some additional suggestions:

• Conduct a body scan, noticing sensations starting from your hands. Focus completely on your hands and feel any subtle vibrations. Gradually shift your attention through your forearms, upper arms, shoulders, lower back, mid-back, legs, pelvic floor, neck, and finally to your breath.
• Identify five sounds, five sensations, and five sights. Acknowledge them until you feel a sense of calm.
• Roll your spine to stimulate the vagus nerve: lean back to look at the ceiling, then bring your chin to your chest. Continue for at least 30 seconds.
• Before flying, find a patch of grass and stand barefoot, taking deep, slow breaths. You can even hum to further relax. Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth to “anchor” this feeling. Take a moment to absorb it. When you place your tongue in that position during the flight, it can trigger a sense of calm.

Take the Leap and Fly

Exposure is the only way to conquer your fear. You can prepare endlessly, but if you don’t board that plane, you will remain paralyzed by anxiety.

Start small. Take a brief regional flight to ease into the experience.

Utilize effective strategies to shift your flying experience from anxiety and dread to a sense of calm and control.

It’s time to face your fear of flying, one flight at a time.

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