Many hold firmly to the belief that male aggression is an unchangeable aspect of their nature. This perspective is especially prevalent among men, who often express it when I discuss humanity's long-standing capacity for peace and equality, despite my references to various anthropological studies and insights.

An anthropologist who specializes in warfare notes, "The early Stone Age appears to have been characterized by peace rather than conflict," a conclusion drawn from a comprehensive review of scholarly work. Sadly, over the last 13,000 years, the propensity for war has seemingly become ingrained in human behavior, resulting in countless tragedies.

Throughout much of the Stone Age, Europe and the Near East experienced relative peace, but by the late Neolithic period, warfare became widespread. The data suggests that early humans were not innately warlike.

Societal structures rooted in patriarchal values have led some men to believe that violence has always been a norm, fostering a sense of hopelessness for change. Many are convinced that aggression is simply part of male identity, despite evidence indicating that organized violence became common only about 12,000 years ago. It raises the question of whether some may secretly prefer this narrative, as violence often serves as a measure of masculinity in contemporary society, reflected in the themes of countless Hollywood films.

Although we currently experience significant violence, many aspects of our lives are more peaceful than in previous eras. While it is true that a majority of violent acts are committed by men, this does not imply that such behavior is natural or unavoidable.

Human beings are fundamentally designed for cooperation and connection. This is not merely a social concept but a genetic reality. Our evolutionary success is tied to our ability to function as a cohesive group, particularly in resource-scarce environments. Paleolithic hunter-gatherer societies exemplified this by sharing resources and exchanging clan members to promote genetic diversity.

Professor Martin Sikora from the Centre for GeoGenetics at the University of Copenhagen states, "Small family groups likely interacted with broader networks, facilitating the exchange of individuals to ensure diversity." This deliberate action underscores our species' cooperative nature. Research indicates that social interactions are as essential to our well-being as physical health, and the absence of connection can be as painful as physical injury.

As studies reveal, social pain is genuine pain, signaling that our survival depends significantly on social bonds. This understanding challenges the notion that human behavior is purely self-serving; rather, the pursuit of connection is a fundamental motivation.

Thus, the prevalence of violence in human history is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging roughly in the last 12,000 years. Contemporary hunter-gatherer groups continue to exemplify peaceful and egalitarian lifestyles. While testosterone is often linked to aggression, it is important to recognize that normal levels of this hormone do not predispose individuals to violence.

As noted, "Testosterone levels vary widely among individuals, influenced by genetic and environmental factors." Although elevated testosterone may correlate with aggressive behavior, it does not render one inherently violent.

Despite claims to the contrary from some media sources, it requires immense effort to transform boys and men into killers. Research indicates that extreme trauma, humiliation, social isolation, and indoctrination are typically involved in creating individuals capable of such violence. Feelings of anger in response to poverty and discrimination are natural, but resorting to lethal violence is not.

The transformation of young men into violent actors—whether in military settings, insurgent groups, police forces, or criminal gangs—demands extensive resources and time. This process often involves dismantling fundamental human connections, inflicting systematic cruelty, and fostering an "us vs. them" mentality.

The overwhelming consensus in research, dating back to Darwin, shows that our biological and social tendencies favor cooperation and connection far more than any inclination towards violence.

If we find ourselves in a violent era, it is largely due to a patriarchal structure that perpetuates aggression as a means of maintaining social order. Societal expectations compel boys and men to express their masculinity through violence, despite the loneliness and disconnection this fosters.

The anger observed in many men stems from collective alienation and isolation ingrained in our understanding of masculinity. Dr. Judy Chu's work highlights how boys are conditioned from a young age to suppress their emotional awareness and responsiveness, aligning instead with a culturally prescribed emotional disconnection.

Healing occurs through meaningful connections. We do not heal in solitude; rather, we mend through relationships. It may seem paradoxical to encourage men to connect after a lifetime of being taught to disconnect, but the benefits of genuine connection are profound.

It is important to clarify that while humans, including men, possess the potential for violence, it is not our default state. Cooperation and connection are far more deeply embedded in our nature. When we cultivate a culture of coercion, hierarchy, and aggression, we create an environment where violence appears to be an intrinsic male trait. However, history and science demonstrate that this is not the case. Acknowledging this truth opens pathways toward a more peaceful and equitable future.