What Does Social Transition Entail?

As I engage in my social transition, I have informed everyone of my new name and pronouns (he/him). I have altered my wardrobe, opted for a shorter haircut, and often reflect on how “passing” as my true gender shouldn’t be a prerequisite for being recognized as transgender. Yet, I find myself investing time in strategies to present as male, as facing misgendering can be painful.

My gender therapist provided resources to assist me in passing as a man. Numerous factors contribute to whether strangers perceive me as male, female, agender, or androgynous.

For instance, prior to starting testosterone, I regularly shaved my face, understanding that cisgender women typically have softer facial hair compared to men. I also learned to stop apologizing unnecessarily—something that many cisgender men do not frequently engage in. I began to communicate in more concise sentences and reduced my use of polite expressions.

In social settings, I made an effort to occupy more space. I open doors, but I no longer hesitate when moving through crowds. I adapted my posture and body language to mirror the behaviors of cisgender men. These shifts, although rooted in cultural stereotypes, collectively help others perceive me as male when I make an effort. These societal constructs become real because we collectively acknowledge them.

At times, focusing on these details can be exhausting. Ultimately, this effort is less about authenticity and more about helping others understand my identity through a recognizable gender framework. The challenge arises when some of the behaviors that aid in passing reinforce misogyny, leading to difficult choices regarding how far to lean into these changes.

Before starting my medical transition, I felt pressure to conform excessively. Misgendering occurred frequently in my customer service role, despite my attempts to embody certain benign stereotypes of masculinity. The traits that led to correct gendering often flirted with male privilege, such as taking up space, avoiding apologies, and adopting a gruff, overconfident demeanor. This persona was at odds with my true self, which contributed significantly to my decision to pursue medical transition.

What Constitutes Medical Transition?

If you are not familiar with the medical aspects of gender transition, you might mistakenly think you can easily identify someone’s gender history or the direction of their transition. Once, I faced criticism from a cisgender woman on social media for supposedly "appropriating" women's experiences while discussing my life as a man with a uterus. She believed I was a trans woman and misinterpreted my statement.

I recognize how this confusion arises. Due to testosterone, there are instances when strangers assume I was assigned male at birth. My body has adapted to exercise more efficiently, resulting in increased strength compared to many cisgender women. Changes in muscle distribution, shoulder width, and facial structure have also occurred. My voice has deepened, and I can feel the development of an Adam’s apple.

Given these changes, if I choose to relax my masculine presentation or wear old feminine clothing for fun, I risk being misidentified as a trans woman who does not pass well.

Navigating the legal implications of my evolving identity is becoming increasingly complex. Even if hearing my deadname (the name assigned at birth) isn’t painful, I know my medical transition will lead to significant changes that may make it impossible to be recognized as the person associated with that name. Therefore, pursuing a legal gender transition has become essential.

What Does Legal Gender Transition Involve?

I recently attended a name change clinic through the Colorado Name Change Project—a small but significant step toward completing my legal gender transition. This process involves changing my name and the gender marker on official documents, simplifying many aspects of my life.

For instance, this transition will prevent medical providers from listing me with an incorrect name, sex, and pronouns in my medical records. My current doctor’s office has me incorrectly categorized, which has caused confusion. I’ve tried to correct it, but I may need to clarify the mix-up to my next doctor.

Moreover, I hope to shield future employers from knowing my deadname, especially since my last employer revealed it at an inopportune moment, which left me feeling vulnerable.

Legally changing my name will also reduce the confusion I face at banks and other places where my ID no longer reflects my appearance. As I pass more consistently as male, I will look less like someone who bears my deadname, which is crucial for my safety in various situations.

Insights from the Name Change Clinic

Although changing my name in Colorado is less daunting than in North Carolina, it still involves challenges and expenses. Fortunately, there is extensive support available, including financial assistance for those who need it.

Thanks to Jude’s Law, I won’t have to undergo the uncomfortable and potentially dangerous steps required in North Carolina, such as publishing my deadname in the newspaper. This law allows me to indicate my exemption from publication on my name change petition.

Before I can proceed, I need to provide proof of residency, undergo fingerprinting, and complete an FBI background check, costing $81.50. After that, I will have 90 days to submit my paperwork to the county court, which incurs an additional fee of around $88. A court hearing may be necessary before my name change is finalized, with each certified copy costing $20 for further legal documentation.

In total, I estimate that the process will cost at least $189.50, not including the fees for updating my birth certificate, Social Security card, driver’s license, and passport. Additional costs will arise for changing medical, educational, and financial records.

To amend my gender marker on federal documents, I will need a doctor’s note. While this does not require a medical transition, it necessitates an appointment with a knowledgeable healthcare provider who understands transgender issues. For those who do not fit common transitioning stereotypes, securing this note may involve consultations with multiple doctors to find someone competent to provide it. I anticipate that my medical transition will facilitate this process more than it might for others who choose not to pursue medical changes.

Overall, the legal transition is a distinct journey that demands both time and financial resources.

What About Your Experience?

Have you or someone you know undergone a gender transition? What types of transitions were involved? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Note: I am not a lawyer, and this information should not be considered legal advice. It reflects my personal research as a trans man seeking to change my name in Colorado, USA.